relationshipsRelationships can be tricky and almost all will have some challenges along the way. If you are lucky you will notice the red flags before they become too serious. There are the obvious ones that are automatic grounds for ending things like verbal or physical abuse or a lot of drama that rarely leads to a happy union. But there are less obvious mistakes that if left ignored can cause strain and could ruin your happily ever after. All relationships involve learning and growing but if you can recognize where you can make improvements and then get to it.

Saying “nothing is wrong”. Some issues or insults can seem so obvious that you can’t imagine that your partner doesn’t realize they did something wrong. So rather than discussing the problem you both stay silent and sulk and act like you are not upset. When asked, “What’s wrong?” it’s so much easier and less painful to say “nothing”. You either stay angry or resentful or you move on and sweep the unresolved issue under the rug and it can arrive days, week or months later with even greater ugliness.

Walking away should not be confused with giving each other space. Taking a breather to calm down or clear your head during an argument is a good thing. If you want to leave, ask your partner if you can take a few minutes to collect your thoughts rather than cutting off the conversation and saying you are done. Grit your teeth, swallow your pride and finish the discussion.

Don’t keep score. Life is long and if you keep a tally in your relationship, you will end up exhausted and resentful. If you feel the need to revisit the issue, it was never resolved in the first place. Accept apologies fully and while you both will make plenty of mistakes, you will both do plenty of wonderful things.

Image courtesy of Christopher Michel via Wikimedia Commons.